Title:   Trust  & Treachery

Series: Wind & Rain  - Part XI

Author: Barb Marx

Pairing:  Ezra/ofc /Seven

Universe:  ATF

Archive:  http://het_oasis.tripod.com/hot4het.html (adult pages)

Summary: Life isn't always picture perfect, and sometimes the unexpected can force us to face our truths... or run away from them.  S

Open fandom: Open fandom: Yes, and if you wish to discover another side to some of these, read TJ's Aftermath, First, you stumble, and Then you fall

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: The M7 characters are owned by Trilogy, MGM and Mirisch, No copyright infringement was intended. For sheer entertainment.

Acknowledgement: Acknowledgement & Dedication: My heartfelt thanks to TJ who helped me figure out what 'Adrian' was thinking and for doing an incredible job as my beta.

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Trust & Treachery 

Adrian hated waking up. She was beginning to think that being conscious was highly over rated. The oblivion of sleep was what she desired. That’s when the pain and loneliness went away. The only time when a pair of green eyes didn’t haunt her.

Delaney used to envy those who could remember their dreams. Now, she cursed whoever was in charge of making them so vivid and wished that she could once again loose them upon waking. At first, her nighttime visions were nebulous and hazy. She would wake up unsettled and exhausted. The memory may not have been there clearly, but the ache that she now associated with him, was. As the days crawled on, they changed; she now remembered every single detail of her unconscious mind’s nightly excursions.

The brunette was doing everything she could to fill her days. Since moving in with Josiah, she had cleaned his place within an inch of its life… twice. She cooked, though found it hard to eat, sending all of the leftover food upstairs to the profiler. She consumed just enough to prevent herself from starving, but found no enjoyment in it.

At work, she was a dervish of efficiency. She had organized Travis’ office, overhauled her desk and restructured her computer.

Orin had commented to his wife, Evie, that his office had never run so efficiently.  He was caught up in his correspondence, his reports were perfect and he even found that he actually had some free time.

Evie countered him by saying that her charity ball was benefiting from Adrian’s presence as well. The brunette's skills were being put to good use. The usual chaos that Mrs. Travis had come to know every time they tried to put on an event, wasn’t there. Adrian had calmly stepped forward and taken over. Evie thought Delaney ran the committee skillfully, and greatly admired the young woman.

Everyone knew their job, and did it. The normal backbiting, arguing, and complaining that had become the norm, disappeared. In fact, Evie couldn’t remember the last time she had this much fun. Without a doubt, this year's charity ball was going to be a success.

~~7~~

“Damn it!” Adrian muttered as she hunted through her dresser. “Where is it?” The hazel-eyed woman was looking for the sweater Standish had given her. It was nowhere to be found. Moving to the bed, she sat, thinking hard on the last time she had seen it was. Suddenly, she groaned, remembering tossing the pullover on the 'dry-clean only' pile, in Ezra’s closet.

The cold snap that had inundated the city caught the Canadian by surprise. While she had packed warm clothes, she hadn't thought about bringing anything appropriate for work. After all, Delaney hadn't expected to land a job when she came for a visit. That thought reminded the brunette that she really needed to plan a trip home to tie up some loose ends, her apartment, in particular. Adrian had been contemplating selling her condo, but wanted to research the market before listing it for sale.

Her thoughts going back to the sweater again, Delaney smiled knowing the bust on Friday had gone without a hitch. Teams Four and Five had requested the assistance of Team Seven at the last minute.  Their combined resources had come together nicely to successfully bring down Prichard and his organization. As she was readying to leave that evening, AD Travis had requested her presence when the operation was over. Her task would be to collate the individual reports into one comprehensive synopsis. Having met with Lansky on Thursday afternoon to complete the exchange of information, Delaney was confident she could handle anything that needed to be done.

Adrian had promised Orin that she would have the report completed by Monday morning, 9:00 a.m. to be precise. She intended to deliver. The AD was only concerned with the final product and left 'when' it got done, completely up to Delaney.

Hence, the hunt for the sweater. While she knew she could dress casually on a Saturday, the brunette wasn't comfortable showing up in an old, yet warm, flannel lumberjack shirt she'd expropriated from a friend. Even though it was a staple in her wardrobe; the Canadian didn't feel that it was appropriate for the office, even if she was on her own time.

Her mind firmly fixated on retrieving her angora top, Adrian knew she would have to go over to Ezra's place to get it. This opened up a completely new can of worms.

Since they had split up, Adrian had been miserable and, through office gossip, she was gratified to hear that the southerner was as well. That gave her hope that they might be able to work things out. Of course, they’d both been avoiding each other like the plague. That had to change and, apparently, today was the day.

Delaney had made the decision earlier to swallow her pride and make the first move. She felt somewhat responsible for the 'break up' in the first place. If she had talked to the southerner the minute she realized that she needed a little space, quite possibly, they would still be together.

Adrian had decided before that she would venture over to Ezra's place after finishing work. If Standish wouldn’t come to her, then she would go to him. The undercover man may not be Mohammad, but she was going to treat him as such.

Now, however, that initial plan had changed. Because of the missing sweater, she would use 'looking' for it as a way to see the green-eyed man, hopefully beginning her campaign to win him back. The southerner had the clothing she needed for work, and Adrian wanted it.  She was going to get it, Damn it! That thought brought a smile to her lips for the first time in days.

Quickly changing into a comfortable pair of jeans, and an old sweatshirt she had ‘borrowed’ from Josiah, she ventured over to Ezra’s place.

Arriving at the condo about an hour later, Adrian paid the cabby and walked up the path to the southerner's home. Knocking on the door, Delaney waited for him to answer. She tried again a few minutes later, but still no answer. Taking out her keys, the brunette hoped that Standish hadn’t changed the alarm code as she opened the door.

Adrian was dismayed when there was no telltale beep, indicating the security system was armed. That wasn’t right. She remembered Ezra’s lectures to 'turn it on', even when you were home. It was a habit he was compulsive about. There had to be something wrong.

Carefully easing her way through the door, she stopped and listened. Hoping to hear something… anything.

She noticed Ezra’s jacket on the floor and, without thinking, picked it up and hung it in the closet. Why was his coat just lying there? She'd expect this behavior from Buck and JD, but not from the southerner. Inexplicably, Adrian was starting to get nervous and worried. Grabbing the heavy crystal vase that always sat on a small round table in the entranceway, she moved further into the condo.

Ezra's shoes were strewn over the floor, and it looked as though there was a strange boot under the coffee table. A chair in the dining room was on the floor. Adrian picked it up, only to realize that she shouldn’t have. It suddenly occurred to her that if something was truly wrong, she could be destroying evidence. Continuing on, she saw clothes strewn everywhere. Ezra’s shirt, and a shirt she didn’t recognize. The brunette's mind was trying to link the clues, not liking what they indicated.

Fear and anger warring each other, the fear won out when she saw Ezra’s shoulder holster and revolver hanging off the back of the couch.

With her heart pounding, Adrian wanted to run away but her feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they continued to propel her forward.

Finally, the hazel-eyed woman stood outside of the undercover man’s bedroom. By it’s own volition, her hand reached out and pushed open the partially closed door.

She couldn’t say how long she stood there. She was reasonably sure she didn’t say anything. Her mind was blank. Adrian desperately wanted to close her eyes and block out what she was seeing. All Delaney wanted to do was scream, and never stop.

It was a scene out of an all too familiar nightmare. Two naked people, while not curled up in each other's arms, they left no doubt that they’d had 'been' together. The strewn clothes, the rumpled sheets, the smell of sex and alcohol, all confirmed the dirty truth.

Adrian couldn't turn away; she was frozen to the spot as her blood pressure slowly began to climb. All she could see was Ezra, in bed with another woman.  How could he throw away what they had, so quickly?  How could he trivialize their bonding so easily, by giving it out to every bitch in heat?

Her stare so full of loathing, it took a moment for Delaney to recognize the fact that she knew 'her'. OH MY GOD! She couldn’t begin to fathom how Ezra and Kate might have got together… Yet, here they were. In that second, Adrian instantly wanted to choke the life from the woman she had thought was her friend. Immediately, the brief conversation they'd had at lunch that day flashed through her mind and Adrian's jaw clenched. Kate had asked how Standish was in bed.... maybe she'd had this planned for a while? Had the blonde woman been waiting for Adrian to get out of the picture?

It was at that same moment that Ezra chose to move. His eyes fluttering open, then closed. It looked like the southerner was waking. Adrian panicked, turned, and fled. Realizing she was still clutching the crystal vase, she was tempted to throw it at the fireplace. Instead, she put it on the dining table and hurried out the door, not even bothering to lock it behind her.

Sprinting from the property, she desperately tried to outrun the visions flashing in her mind, a vivid picture of Standish and Lansky making love. Her stomach rolled and she had to stop, barely making it to some bushes, where she fell to her knees and threw up.

When she was finished emptying her stomach, she stood on shaky legs and looked around. She had no idea where she was. Adrian walked a bit further until she came to a street corner. Pulling out her cell phone, she called for a cab, and contemplating what she was going to do next. Delaney shivered, her soul becoming as frosty as the air she breathed.

Her earlier despair gave way to rage. A bonfire was growing within her belly as her heart froze. On the way back to Josiah's, Adrian thought about packing her stuff up and leaving. Again, her anger prevented her from 'tucking her tail between her legs' and slinking off. That wasn't going to happen… was it?

Arriving at home, she stormed in and stomped downstairs, completely oblivious to the look she received from Josiah as he stood in the hall to greet her.

Once inside, the tirade started. She automatically switched to French and Gaelic, the two languages were much more satisfying to curse in. Adrian fluctuated between packing and unpacking, dialing the airport to inquire about flights and crying. Her emotions were all over the map.

After ranting and waffling back and forth about whether or not to leave town, Adrian tried to eat some lunch but the very sight of food made her ill. Finally pushing herself away from the table, she made a space on the floor and tried to put herself into a meditative state. If she could just find some calm, she might be able to think rationally.

While meditating worked in the past, this time her mind kept working in a loop of despair. Adrian's past kept making a repeat performance, and nothing she could do, would prevent it from swamping her brain.

Why was it that every man she's ever loved, betrayed her? Was she destined to be like her mother? The only way to sustain a relationship was to bury her self-esteem and pride, allowing her partner to do whatever he pleased?

Was she not worthy of fidelity? Did she wear a sign that said, 'cheat on me'? 'Abuse me'! 'Treat me like dirt'!

Why did she allow herself to feel, to ever yearn for love?

Her father started it all. His continual betrayal of her mother should have told her something about the male of the species.

Then it was Frank, Adrian's first love. Delaney still couldn't understand why her slime detector didn't set the klaxon ringing? No sooner had they started living together, had his true colors appeared. It took everything inside of her to break away.

Her second love almost broke her. The depth of his betrayal was unlike anything she had ever experienced. After Luke, the brunette swore off men and buried herself away. The real Adrian disappeared.

For three years she hid, not allowing herself to feel, to live. It took her mother's death to snap her out of the little box she created, and then only part of her true self had emerged. Years of working through her issues with a professional finally enabled Adrian to trust again.

A gentle smile curled Delaney's lips as she remembered that fateful day on the beach. She had decided to start fresh. With every life-changing event, the Canadian had always found her way to the beach. Ironically, that day there had been a storm. She likened it to a cleansing of her soul, enabling her to begin her life again.

Meeting Ezra had been fate's way of signaling that it was time to live again. It seemed that his psyche was every bit as damaged as the brunette's, and that together, they could learn anew.

Now, Adrian wondered if it was all a ruse. Had Standish really loved her? Or was she just a warm and willing body for him to take his pleasure from. Once again she thought that was all she seemed to be good for… All that anyone wanted from her.

Not coming up with any answers, and definitely not any calmer, the brunette carefully unwound her legs from the lotus position and stretched, trying to loosen stiff muscles. Delaney didn’t know how long she had sat there but, considering it was fast approaching dusk, it must have been a few hours. She looked around at the devastation she had wrought and sighed.

Muttering to herself about letting her anger dictate her actions, Adrian started cleaning up. Turning to the stereo, the Canadian rummaged through the latest batch of 'burned' CD's a friend from home had sent. Finding one labeled, Conan, the Barbarian, she realized that she hadn't played that one yet. Reading the titles and the warning attached, she understood why. This particular CD stated, 'Only listen to me when you hate the world.' "Nice… how apropos," the brunette muttered, not sure if she hated the world or herself. The one thing she did know was that today would definitely qualify. Throwing caution to the wind, Adrian put it on and cranked the volume.

In seconds, hard-core rock started blaring through the speakers of the little ghetto blaster. Adrian stood there for a moment, letting the harsh words and pounding beat wash over her. Looking at the play list, her eyebrows rose. Steve must have found every angry, brutal song out there. Covering such categories as 'death metal', Rap, pop, hell… even country.

Anger… rage… yes, this she could use. Despair would only ruin her, like it had her mother. Not her, she had worked so hard to avoid the traps that tried to snare her with every failed relationship, with every disappointment… every betrayal. She had always tried to project that she was strong and in control. The truth of the matter was, Adrian was far from strong.

As the brunette cleaned up the mess, she let her body move to the music. Sometimes stopping to dance or just listen to the lyrics. She allowed the songs to envelope her. Steeling her resolve, shutting her heart down. A new Adrian was born once again.

Before long, the little suite was tidy and the Canadian was exhausted. During the entire cleaning process, Delaney managed not to think about Ezra and Kate, the task of housekeeping effectively blocking out the visions her fertile imagination had supplied.

The hazel-eyed woman took a quick shower, all the while avoiding looking at herself in the mirror, and then, got ready for bed.

She knew that her subconscious would re-enact the day's events during the night, so Adrian did the one thing that she'd always swore never to do. The brunette opened the medicine cabinet and seized the bottle of sleeping pills, grabbing a glass of wine on her way to the living room. She contemplated the vial and the goblet for a long moment. Shaking her head, she left them on the table, untouched, and went to bed.

Lying down, she resolutely shut her eyes. She could do this. If he didn't love her, to hell with him… She didn't need anyone. She wasn't going to let him destroy her. This firmly in mind, she drifted off to sleep. Tears slowly falling down her cheeks.

TBC  

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